Getting Down to Business

Well, hello! I have been busily trying to change my outlook on exercise, and to that end I have been continuing my Tai Chi at CMAA on Bakerview Rd, and am engaged in a quarter long, 3x/week program at WWU that is for people who need some kind of rehabilitation or are weak, like me! I am getting stronger ... I can feel it! I feel so blessed to have this training time, and my trainer, Abby, is delightful and a perfect handler for me.

I feel very encouraged and that "I can do it"!

I have realized that I must put much more of my focus on taking care of my body, which has been out of my control and feeling weaker. Elaine said to think of it as "my business" that needs taking care of every day, which struck a chord with me. I've been riding the bus up, which is an adventure in itself.

I love being up at WWU, it's so grand and interesting. Lots of energy from the student population and the learning atmosphere. I was approaching red square today and heard a raven calling, and noticed these nicely structured trees when I looked up to see if I could spot it.

I love the little glimpses of spring I've been seeing! I am hopeful that spring is on its way. Here are some catkins, which the trees present us before beginning to bud and leaf.

Blessings of Renewal

 I'm in Hawaii, and it's a good thing because after the rather overwhelming holidays, having some time to find myself again was needed.   Yesterday we were blessed to see many humpback whales on an all day cruise.

Today we had the idea to go to the 'cowboy' town on Maui, which isn't very cowboy-ish, but charming in its way.  On the way, we decided since the distances were actually pretty short, we'd go to Ali'i Kula  lavender farm first.

Turns out that was a great intuitive decision!  As we drove up the mountain and neared the farm, we were drawn in by the scent of sage from another farm and greeted by paragliders above us at the entrance to the lavender filled gardens!   The farm itself is so lovely, with a very spiritual atmosphere that was evident in many a specially created alcove or resting spot graced by a Buddha or a Kwan-Yin or a Hawaiian Goddess.

In fact, I think today's cowboy theme morphed into a completely multi cultural spirituality theme!   When we got to Makawao, the non cowboy town, the first place I went was an east Indian import store where we tried every singing bowl (the metal kind) there and practiced making them vibrate...

Then we went to a farmers market and I bought sprouts from one charming hippie boy and raw macadamia nuts from another!  (spirituality tie-in; one said his sprout money was going to help him fund a program idea he had to help attune people to live in harmony with the land... Sweet!  By the way, there is an herb store in Makawao, the Dragons Den, which helped with my raw throat today.   

 

After lunching in Pa'ia we went back up the mountain to The Sacred Garden of Maliko, a very spiritual place, with again the feeling of welcome for all faiths in solidarity. Labyrinths, statuary, koi ponds and a general feeling of loveliness and connection. I walked the two labyrinths, one a Chartres style (outside surrounded by jungle!) and the other a unicursal style, prayed in the Goddess sanctuary, and of course shopped in their gift shop.   Mmmm.

Christmas and Yule

I am listening to Christmas music lately, the traditional tunes as well as modern ones and some pagan stuff, like Midwinter Moon and  Jaiya's Firedance. I love to sing this time of year. I find myself thinking of going to Catholic church and singing with Mike's family, or going to Lutheran church and singing along with my first husband, Jeff Fox, while he plays the pipe organ.  They even have a cool bell choir there on Christmas eve.

Jeff at Mt Baker Theater

And though I do not enjoy the Christian doctrine as a rule, I do love the tradition and ritual of Christmas services, because there is so much singing! I really like to belt it out!  I always get a giggle out of the off key singers, yet it's wonderful because they too are belting it out, for the joy of it.

I continue to struggle with seasonal depression, so identified since it happened last year too, but this year I have a couple tricks to help me.

  First I'm taking several people's advice, including my husband's; jump on the exercise bike when I am feeling low.  Second, I'm using my happy light by my computer for longer periods (why yes, it's shining on me now!) instead of just in the bathroom when I shower. 
I do have to watch out for heightened emotions, however.  I tend to get sucked into the media's milking of the tender side of the holidays; I'll even cry at ads if they're tearjerkers!  Don't even get me going on the damned holiday movies!  Dana told me she had been watching them so I recorded a couple to watch while on the exercise bike.  VERY light entertainment!


  Mike and I have been watching The Sing-Off.
  It's a show about a bunch of acapella groups competing for some money and a recording contract.  After I got past the cheesy MC the music was wonderful!  This group, Pentatonix, was so creative and exciting, and they won.

 I have been learning about myself this one thing:
I get very emotional when I see groups of people being creative in an organized way.  Parades, marching bands, groups like on the sing-off, and dance groups.  people who aren't rock stars, but are doing something they love.  I always think back to when I used to be in marching band and really liked the way we did cool patterns and went to parades and games to play and march.  I'm probably yearning to feel a part of something like that again.


What I am part of is a wonderful group of people who present celebrational rituals for the seasons.  We are putting on a Yule, or winter solstice event again at a local grange hall.  It will be fun and wonderful community atmosphere, and we get to have a fire outside among the fir trees, in a big cauldron! 

So, enough ramblings for now, and I hope to see YOU soon!
Blessings!

Betsy

Memories, Dreams, All Hallows

Ah, Halloween, All Souls Eve, All Hallows.  The ancient holiday where the dead are honored and the harvests must be done, including the harvesting of the animals you are not willing to feed all winter. Hibernation time is here!  I certainly feel that way anyway.
I remember going to a local event, called Hecate's Sickle Festival, held at  Cornet Bay state park group camp, where we had a silent supper.  At the supper no one said anything the entire time, and we invited our beloved ancestors to dine with us.  The silence is really hard for me, but once I sunk down into it I felt the presence of my dear friend Blake Grinstein, who was lost at sea on his fishing boat, and my beloved cat Bosco, who has been a companion for me on shamanic journeys I have taken.  (A visualized journey into other realities, but is it just visualized???)
This year, I will be thinking of my sweet niece Kate, who passed away a number of years ago, and of someone who really enjoyed her and me, Paul Bingman, who passed away of cancer this year very unexpectedly to me.  I had just emailed him and asked him if I could come visit him this fall for a quilt conference, which was one thing we enjoyed talking about, and a week later I heard he had passed.  It was quite a shock and our local community, which had connections with him, were sad in a deep and regretful way because he hid his illness from us and passed on quietly without our being able to say goodbye.  I hope to do that tonight at a quiet ceremony. 
He is pictured here at Joanna's home during our St. Lucia party hugging Deb.
And I will be thinking of my friends Elaine, Lee and Chloe, who lost their beloved mom/grandma Janet.  I had the honor of spending Thanksgiving with their family last year and really enjoyed talking with Janet and hearing her stories.  Janet passed away this year somewhat unexpectedly and the loss has hurt Elaine and her family very deeply, of course. 

Many blessings and love...... Goodbye friends........


Last night I had a very detailed dream about finding a spot on a campus of some sort where there was a safe that I finally remembered the combination to.  I opened it and found many little mementos of my life, and things I'd saved that were "interesting" "cute" or "neat" to me.  Mostly household objects.  I started pulling them out of the safe, which wasn't just a square box, it was built into a window on the outside of the building, on a corner.  I had to reach into odd little compartments to find more things to pull out, and at one point a rat cruised across the windowsill above the opening that I was reaching into.  I was startled by the rat and wondered if I was going to put my hand in a nest or some poop!  But I figured the rat wasn't in my safe but was just going above it.  I kept unloading.  Soon I had it all out and spread on the ledge by the safe and a table by the window.  I started looking at it all and deciding to give stuff away to passers-by, who seemed like students on this campus. 
That's it for my clear memory, as my cat started poking me to be let out.  I went back to sleep hoping my dream self would work out the rest.

 But the clarity of this dream and the symbolism were good, and considering the time in my life and the time of the year, I consider it very symbolic of my beginning to dig around for the things I've learned and experienced and sharing them with people who might be interested in them.  Also, it's time to let go of things I have stored up and made a part of me, but are probably not needed any more. 

And, all this leads to where we are now, All Hallows, the time of letting go.  I am ready to let go of the people and things that have been hanging on to all these years.  Things change, they wheel turns, and life moves along on it's own pace.  All Hallows is the time for pause and assessment, and sending love across the great divide between life and death to those who have left us bereft.

Fall Beauty

I haven't posted for awhile, it seems like I am teetering on the brink of the same depression I fell into last year at this time.  I just turned 49 and though I don't think it affects me that deeply, it may well be a part of my issues!   My parents, 82 and 84, are still here but are leaving this week for their trek back to Palm Desert.  I have loved having them here but I guess it's time to see them off and for me to try to get back to my routine.  Mike, my husband, says that he heard that if you want to avoid depression, the minute you feel down, go do some vigorous exercises.  I tried that today and it seemed to help!  So I have my exercise bike all ready for action and will keep trying it. 
I want to share with you a fun and happy looking squash someone left me at our farewell/birthday party.
This squash lifted my spirits tonight when I saw him (her?) and I put him in this cup at a jaunty angle so he could be displayed nicely and show off a bit before I decide to eat him!!! 
I got my mom to make another of her pie/tart things out of some blackberries I bought in Tacoma at the farmers market last month.  I think she just mixes a little flour and some agave, and uses a pie crust from safeway that she lays over the top only.  It seems easy and very tasty. 
I have really enjoyed the tomatoes that mom and dad have grown for me here on my patio, they are great patio gardeners and have really done a wonderful job beautifying my house. 
One of the presents I was given for my birthday was this exceptionally cool lily pad food cover, from the Greenhouse in Bellingham.  Thanks Drew!
I just noticed that the Greenhouse also sells Envirosax, my favorite designer shopping bags.  They roll up into small light tubes that fit in your purse easily.  These have actually changed me from a wannabe to a real "no/minimal plastic" shopper. 
I have the usual problem with fruit flies every year so my solution for the most part is to create these little traps for them.  I discovered they like witch hazel so I made a recipe that includes a little witch hazel, some red wine and some apple cider vinegar.  I put these in one of those oil/vinegar bottles and the little bastards go in and die!!    :-)  I also use the wine stopper things that have an opening and closing lever for pouring and use old wine bottles to catch them.  You can rig up any number of trap types, just search the net. 

I've lost about 11 pounds.  So has Mike.  We are trying to do a whole bunch of stuff to improve our bodies and our relationship.  I've started Tai Chi back in August.  I'm going to the Chinese Martial Arts Academy and it's been good for me! 
I'm really looking forward to all the harvest celebrations in the next month or two.  Next weekend are our local Pagan Pride and Fall Equinox events.  I'll be doing something at each of them; come visit me!
Next month, I get to visit my pal Angie in Boston, and our pal Lori, from Austin TX will be coming too! 
Ok, I've rambled on enough. 
Blessings of the fall and harvests upon you!
--Betsy

Of Weddings, grasshoppers, Sandhill cranes, weasels and magpies

I've been traveling this weekend. Going on I-90 to Billings, MT for my sister in law Sheri's wedding. The wedding was held in St. Olaf Church near Roberts, MT...15 miles on a rocky road into the rolling green hills with mountain ranges around us.

I'm always amazed at the creatures that live in this part of the country, and I like to catalogue in my head what I've seen..

let's see, I saw Sandhill cranes (I've deduced), a few green grasshoppers and of course ravens and magpies, ospreys, a number of hawks, vultures, swans in a creek by the dirt road on the way to the church, pronghorns, a weasel in Costco parking lot, very cute, a few swallows and other sweet birds, cows, horse, bison (ranched), sheep, llamas, goats and little bunnies of course.
It's been lots of family visiting this weekend, the last time I'll see brother in law Brian before he becomes a daddy, met my two new step nephews that Sheri's new mate Rudy brings with him into the marriage, and excitement is building for Pam (sis in law) over her impending adoption.
It's been a little difficult for me being without Marina, she's in Hawaii. But i've gotten a lot of time with Mike on the road. It's been a little weird for me because I've been feeling unsettled lately. So of course my Virago/Virgo self picks at him.
But what I think the answer for me is, has to be found inside me, not by trying to pick apart someone else....
And I already knew that, I just didn't pull it out of my brain's crevasses until today.

Sun with Clouds

My experience of life right now is sort of like this Pacific Northwest summer:  Some very lovely days and moments, but with clouds of all kinds, some heavy with rain and others fluffy and shade providing.


I have news of several friends who are losing their footing in this life; it illustrates to me the tenuousness of our being here, now.  Cancer, leukemia, other health issues all scare the crap out of me.   These are the clouds, of course... but aren't we used to that here?

And then the sun comes out and we appreciate the love and beauty of such blessings as my husband Mike's brothers and sisters having babies this summer, and of Sheri getting married in a couple weeks. 

I'm just flowing along with all this news, hoping I can send love where it is needed.  Because that's about all I can do sometimes. 

This is home, this is me.  Love and Blessings to you too....