Memories, Dreams, All Hallows

Ah, Halloween, All Souls Eve, All Hallows.  The ancient holiday where the dead are honored and the harvests must be done, including the harvesting of the animals you are not willing to feed all winter. Hibernation time is here!  I certainly feel that way anyway.
I remember going to a local event, called Hecate's Sickle Festival, held at  Cornet Bay state park group camp, where we had a silent supper.  At the supper no one said anything the entire time, and we invited our beloved ancestors to dine with us.  The silence is really hard for me, but once I sunk down into it I felt the presence of my dear friend Blake Grinstein, who was lost at sea on his fishing boat, and my beloved cat Bosco, who has been a companion for me on shamanic journeys I have taken.  (A visualized journey into other realities, but is it just visualized???)
This year, I will be thinking of my sweet niece Kate, who passed away a number of years ago, and of someone who really enjoyed her and me, Paul Bingman, who passed away of cancer this year very unexpectedly to me.  I had just emailed him and asked him if I could come visit him this fall for a quilt conference, which was one thing we enjoyed talking about, and a week later I heard he had passed.  It was quite a shock and our local community, which had connections with him, were sad in a deep and regretful way because he hid his illness from us and passed on quietly without our being able to say goodbye.  I hope to do that tonight at a quiet ceremony. 
He is pictured here at Joanna's home during our St. Lucia party hugging Deb.
And I will be thinking of my friends Elaine, Lee and Chloe, who lost their beloved mom/grandma Janet.  I had the honor of spending Thanksgiving with their family last year and really enjoyed talking with Janet and hearing her stories.  Janet passed away this year somewhat unexpectedly and the loss has hurt Elaine and her family very deeply, of course. 

Many blessings and love...... Goodbye friends........


Last night I had a very detailed dream about finding a spot on a campus of some sort where there was a safe that I finally remembered the combination to.  I opened it and found many little mementos of my life, and things I'd saved that were "interesting" "cute" or "neat" to me.  Mostly household objects.  I started pulling them out of the safe, which wasn't just a square box, it was built into a window on the outside of the building, on a corner.  I had to reach into odd little compartments to find more things to pull out, and at one point a rat cruised across the windowsill above the opening that I was reaching into.  I was startled by the rat and wondered if I was going to put my hand in a nest or some poop!  But I figured the rat wasn't in my safe but was just going above it.  I kept unloading.  Soon I had it all out and spread on the ledge by the safe and a table by the window.  I started looking at it all and deciding to give stuff away to passers-by, who seemed like students on this campus. 
That's it for my clear memory, as my cat started poking me to be let out.  I went back to sleep hoping my dream self would work out the rest.

 But the clarity of this dream and the symbolism were good, and considering the time in my life and the time of the year, I consider it very symbolic of my beginning to dig around for the things I've learned and experienced and sharing them with people who might be interested in them.  Also, it's time to let go of things I have stored up and made a part of me, but are probably not needed any more. 

And, all this leads to where we are now, All Hallows, the time of letting go.  I am ready to let go of the people and things that have been hanging on to all these years.  Things change, they wheel turns, and life moves along on it's own pace.  All Hallows is the time for pause and assessment, and sending love across the great divide between life and death to those who have left us bereft.